Love hate relationships

You can look in most any family and find them, Love, hate relationships. Sisters, brothers, mothers fathers. Most of the time there’s more love than hate. Many times it’s from something that happened many years before. Things that hurt so bad that one can’t forget. And I’m not here to try to tell anyone what to do about them, because God knows that I also have the same kind of relationships. It’s that lie that was told on you, It’s that remark that embarrassed you in front so many people, it’s the Constant bragging. It’s the roundabout put downs. It’s the bossiness from a co-worker, or their back stabbing ways. It’s the person that always want to prove they’re smarter than you.
It’s being invited to Christmas dinner, and finding when you arrived that everyone else had already eaten, when you were there thirty minutes early. (yes that happened to me one time). Willard and I stayed a few minutes but didn’t eat, saying we had eaten already. I had not cooked anything for Christmas dinner because I had gotten the invitation, so Willard and I went to a restaurant to eat. Saying I was humiliated would not be even close to how I felt. That was the last time that I excepted any invitation with that person to eat at their home. Yes I still think about that every Christmas, and yes it still hurts, because the one that did it wanted to hurt me. Why? Because they wanted to show me that, in their eyes I was second best.
I know that most likely each and every one of you have gone through things such as this, one time or another. It is beyond me to give any advice on this subject. I have been fighting with this for years. How do we just move on as we should? I know the first step would be to confront the person, and get it straighten out. But with this person it would only result in more hard feelings, I really have tried with all my being to forgive and forget this. And most of the time I do. But when Christmas starts rolling around again, the memory emerges again. and every day for about a month, I reach down into my heart and say, I forgive. every time that hurts rises up I repeat , I forgive. And I will keep on saying it until I really do, forgive that is.
Yes, I’m saying it again today, I forgive you!
Until next time , God bless