Ok so I have two more thing to add on Joan's philosophy list .


1. A blouse that you have to unbutton to get off or on is too small.
2. Saying, this is the very last time I'm going to tell you this, when giving a warning to a person is just an idle threat.
3. Giving in is not giving up, it's just knowing the other person is more hardheaded and stubborn than you are. It sure doesn't make you wrong.
4. Watching Jeopardy does not make you smarter, it just enables you to realize just how dumb you are.
5. Eating out means no dishes to wash. Oh happy day. :-).
6. Every time I start feeling sorry for myself, I opened my eyes and see so many, many much worse off than I am.
7. Wearing socks with no shoes can really make your feet dry and rough. Sandpaper please !!
8. When you’re an old woman sitting in a chair, when you get that feeling that you’ve got to pee. It’s already too late to make it. That why they make poise.
9. When you’re wanting someone to call. Just lay down to take a nap. It works every time.
10. There are some people that are going to be sarcastic towards you, for what ever reason. So forgive them, love them and pray for them. And God will work on their hearts.
11. When talking on the phone to a loved one, and they yawn the entire conversation. It's not necessarily that they don't want to talk to you, or they may not think you worthless, or you may not bore them. It just may be habit. So forgive them, love them, and pray for them.
Until next time, Willard and I both wish you health and happiness. God bless and God save.

Paula, I hope you don't mind, but I am going to use what you put on Facebook to show people the truth about how we feel at times.
Here's Paula's comment.
You know, I think the hardest thing about fighting stage IV cancer of any type is the toll it takes on you mentally. People are constantly telling you to "stay positive" and I know they are trying to help, but the reality is the sheer willpower it takes to do that is monumental and exhausting.....which in turn, takes it's own toll on your already run down system. So I'm thinking keeping my chin up isn't as important as letting myself honestly acknowledge how I feel about it all. So.....today I'm not fine.....I'm scared, mad, and genuinely sick of wondering what the next test will reveal about this uninvited guest that's taken up residence in my body. It actually feels good to say that instead of "thinking positive". Sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable....Now Paula is hitting the nail on the preverbal head. People with terminal cancer are not allways in a jolly mood. Sometimes we just want to cry and at times being positive is just more than we can do. It's just not about cancer, it's about the chemo that drains you of your energy. It's about being nausea, and the bone pain etc. etc. I won't bother you with the other more gory things that we cancer victims go through. And too we have to listen to people planning their future lives, while we are wondering just how much life we have left. So these people, when they say that we are in what they call self pitying moods, tell us to be positive. I just wish that some people would just say nothing at all. And too, did they ever think while their on vacation have a marvelous time, cancer patients are trying to get enough energy to take a stroll outside in the yard. And did you know too, how lonely we get. You see people don't want to be around us because it makes them think of their own mortality, and that scares them. But yet they still sat there and tell us to be positive.
I want you to know that what Paula wrote, is not the attitude that Paula is usually in. She has lifted my spirits many times. Just by showing me that she cares. In fact sometimes I don't know how Paula does what she does. She still has children in school we she does as any mother would, put them first. She's a good person with a good heart and right now she's in a bad mood, which I understand completely.
If you would I would appreciate you reaching out and touching the hem of Jesus's garment and say prayer for Paula, and for Janice and for all of us that deal with this thing called cancer every day.
I do know this if I do not know anything. Without Willard's help I don't know what I would do. I have some people do have rallied around me like the people at, Thomas drugstore. While others have turned their backs and walk away.
Well, I guess that's all I've got to say. Until next time Willard and I both wish you health and happiness, God bless and God save.

I've talked before about people that have influenced my life when I was a child. Today I'd like to talk about a man that lived next door. He, his wife and a son and daughter. Mr. Edward West. Anyone who knew of how my sister Jean and I grew up knew that we did not have what you would say was a good father. I guess it wasn't his fault, because he had mental problems. I guess Mr. West knew that I needed a father figure, so he was there to show me some attention every once in a while. One day while visiting, his daughter Diane was rolling her hair while sitting at the kitchen table. Mr. West was sitting there too, and Diane jokingly told me to curl her daddy's hair. Well of course I had never heard of such a thing, and in my house this would be unthinkable. There was no joking around in my house. Everything was housework, homework, this work or that work. In fact, I never remember laughter in the house unless of course uncle David was there. So curling a man's hair just for laughter sake, was unfamiliar to me. But Mr. West laughed and said (go ahead Joan, let's see what you can do). It was these little things that endeared him to me.
It's the little things, the little moments that a child stores in their hearts and remembers. It's not the beach vacations, nor the expensive gifts. It's the little moments when you pour out your love through a gesture. That moment when a child knows that you truly care about them that is remembered. I hope each and every one can understand that fact. It's just the little things that will be remembered a lifetime. Every time I see one of those sponge hair curlers the door opens to that special place in my heart where Mr. West's memory is kept. Such good memories.
Until next time, Willard and I both wish you health and happiness. God bless and God save.

I hate you.
I hate you; you dirty dog, I detest even your name.
When it comes to destroying lives, why you're totally to blame.
You were never welcomed; you pushed right through my door.
And I can honestly say, I don't want you around anymore.
You have murdered, many that I have called friend.
And now with your evil, you're right back here again.
I'm going to fight you, with all the strength that I possess.
And some how with God's help, I will win even this test.
In God Almighty, where all my strength is found.
I'm going to beat you; I'm going to put you down.
Somehow I'll get rid of you; I'll make you go away.
And when I do this time, I hope you're gone to stay.
I have a magic mustard seed; that I'm not afraid to use.
And now that I have planted it; CANCER, YOU’RE GOING TO LOSE.

Until next time Willard and I wish you Health and happiness. God bless and God save.

cancer can't

"Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit.
Cancer CAN'T take away the song in my heart.
Cancer cannot take away the words from my lips that praises God.
Cancer can't take away my sense of humor UNLESS I let it.
Cancer can't rob me of laughter.
Until next time God bless and God save.

Yesterday I went to Chapel Hill to get a CAT scan. It wasn't a very pleasant trip. You see I've had diarrhea ever since the day after my chemo. I asked the Lord for help getting me through the day. He did not fail me. Each time I needed to be close to the bathroom, there was one just feet from me. I could not have done it without the Lord's help. I've been in the Valley for a long time now. And if there's one thing that I have learned. Even in the Valley God is always close by your side, ready to lift you up in the more difficult times.
I actually had to stop writing to answer the phone. It was Dr. Gehrig with the results of my scan. She told me that some of my lymph nodes were not showing cancerous now and that the ones that still were the cancer has reduced by half. She says there was no change in my cervical cancer, and that she would be performing a really complete checkup when I went back for chemo. The tumor on my adrenal gland shows the same. Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts. Now on to the story.
On our way home, Willard stopped by IGA to get a few needed items. While he was in the store, I watched as a man in his 40s walked out to his car and sat down in the drivers seat. He did not crank the car when he got in, but seemed to be waiting for something. Out of the door came an elderly man hardly able to walk. He seemed to be staggering as if Dizzy, holding on to anything he could grasp. I knew the feeling, because many times while walking I get dizzy and feel as if I will pass out if I don't set down. It's not a good feeling. I got so angry at what appeared to be the old man's son. He sat in the car and almost looked angered that the old man was taking so long to get to the car. If I had been able I would have got out myself and helped him. But then there would be two people walking around dizzy. I really wanted to say something to the man sitting in the car. How dare he treat any human being like that.
It just seems to me that many of the younger generation treat the elderly as if they're not human. I guess we're just in the way like an old piece of furniture that needs to be thrown out. Every time I think of the old man, I want to cry. Where there should be love and compassion, there's intolerability. You could tell that the younger man was chauffeuring the older man out of responsibility, but surely not love nor compassion. I pray for the old man and all like him, who have children that could care less about them.
I wonder what God will say to those children when they stand before Him? The children who have cursed their parents, mistreated their parents or have totally ignored their parents. Until next time Willard and I wish you health and happiness, May God bless and God save.

Okay so, let me begin with Tuesday, chemo day. The chemo clinic had Monday's patients plus Tuesday's patients. And of course they were two nurses short, one out sick and the other on vacation. My chemo took about two hours longer than normal. The beepers on those machines with the IV's were going off one right after the other all day. The nurses just had too many patients and they could not get to each one of us in time. We left home at 5:30 AM and got home around 530 in the afternoon. It was a long day. After getting home I noticed that the light was blinking on the phone, so I checked my messages, to see one from Dr. Vyas's office. Well I kind of already knew what it was about, the message was that I was to come into the office to see Dr. Vyas as soon as possible. Well Willard had already checked his blood sugar while I was listening to the message, and I asked him while he was doing it would he mind checking mine, because my chemo nurse had already asked me was I a diabetic. I told her no, then she explained that my blood test had come back with a high sugar level. So after receiving the phone call from Dr. Vyas's, I asked Willard to also check my level. Well, it was 400+. Checking it again Tuesday morning it was 275. So I get my butt dressed, and off to Dr. Vyas's office I go. It was not only about my blood sugar, my iron was also very low. It seemed that my iron had dropped another point so off to the IV room I go for four hours. The doctor also put me on a pill for type II diabetes plus a sliding scale Novolog flexpen. According to what my blood sugar is 15 min. before a meal I am to take a shot with the adequate amount of insulin. So here I go off to the drugstore to get the essential things I need and get the prescriptions filled. Well as usual Dr. Vyas's did not write the prescriptions out correctly, and neglected to write me a prescription for the monitor and the strips that I would need to test my blood sugar level. Anyone knows when dealing with Dr. Vyas's office, if you call, even as a pharmacist most likely it will be the next day before you hear anything from them. So Willard and I head back to the doctors office to get the prescriptions that we needed and to correct the one that I had in my hand. But I got the other prescription that I needed, and still when the prescription was written again was still wrong. So somehow Sylvia got it straightened out and I came home finally with the right monitor the right prescription. We had left home for Dr. Vyas's is office that morning at eight and did not return home until well after three o'clock. It was another long day. My blood sugar level stayed in the 400+ all of yesterday. Thank God this morning it was down to 147 which I know is still a little high but 147 looked a whole lot better to me than 400+.
I'll tell you something, between chemo brain and high blood sugar brain, I could not even remember how to say things yesterday. I would try to say something to Sylvia at the drugstore, and she'd have to say it for me where it made sense. I kind of got frustrated and started stamping my foot saying over and over again take this old satan take this, LOL. It was a wild and long day for me. I saw Sheila Strickland there at the drugstore, she really looked good, I haven't seen her for a while. It was really nice seeing her. I'd like to apologize to all the sweet girls up at Thomas drug store for all the trouble, LOL, that I continually put them through. They are all the highest quality of people you would ever want to meet. They are sincere when it comes to helping each customer. They take their time and do not rush a customer through as almost every other business does. They genuinely care for each customer that walks in the doors. I would like to thank them again for all that they do for me and all the other customers. While showing me how to use the meter they tested my blood sugar level at the store. It was 444. Sylvia and the girl which I don't remember her name, would not let me leave until I have a shot to bring my blood sugar down. Thank you again Thomas drugstore, I love all of you.
Until next time, Willard and I wish you health and happiness, God bless and God save.