My sister Jean has been suffering with cramps in her legs and feet for some time now. Every time she would complain to her doctor about it, the doctor would tell her to eat a banana. This has been going on for a couple of years now. Go home and eat a banana LOL. What Dr. doesn't run a blood test or even other tests to find out the problem. I have been on her for some time now to go to Dr. Vyas, my doctor. Dr. Vyas will run test upon test to find out the problem.
Now any time Willard or I go to Vyas's office, we prepare ourselves for spending the whole day. Because the one thing that any of Dr. Vyas's patients know, Dr. Vyas is going to run his test. Well, don't tell her, LOL, but my sister Jean finally decided to go to Dr. Vyas's office and see maybe if he could find a problem with the cramps. Which I understand, because those cramps they hurt. Mine are like the muscle is trying to pull away from the bone.
Again, don't tell her, LOL. But when I heard that she was going, the day of her appointment, I laughed all day. You see I knew that Dr. Vyas would use every machine in his medical building that could possibly be used on her. LOL, LOL, she had stress test, she had bone test. She had test on her legs to check circulation, she had test on her neck for circulation. She had this sonogram and that sonogram. She had a breathing test, and on and on. LOL LOL. Jean, sorry but I'm still laughing. I guess all the older patients of Vyas's laugh when new flesh comes in. Cause we know what they're in store for.
But seriously, I am glad that Jean is now seeing a doctor who will try to find out the problem, and not send her home, saying eat a banana.
Until next time, Willard and I both wish you health and happiness, God bless and God save. 2 Corinthians 1:3
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 2 Corinthians 1:4
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

I sit here and I wonder how things will go for me in the next year. I wonder if Dr. Gehrig will give me chemo to slow down the growth of the cancer cells. Or will she just send me home to die. And then I wonder well, do I really want chemo. How long do I have with chemo, how long without? Each surgery, each chemo has hurt my body more. Willard has ever made the statement not long ago that he didn't think my body could take any more. My mind keeps going one way, then the other. This morning as I stood in the shower and looked down at the blood flowing down the drain, it really hit me. I'm going to die of this cancer. I cried for the first time. I had been in denial until then. Willard I guess heard me and of course then both of us just had a real good blow your nose sob time.
The first time we go through anything, that wonder of how things will go is forever on our minds. Everything's a new experience. But there is One that already knows. And He is with me always.
He will be there for me in both my joyous times and my sad times. And oh, how I need Him right now. Lord Jesus stay.
Until next time, Willard and I both wish you health and happiness, God bless and God save.
Ecclesiastes 3
Ec 3:1
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
Ec 3:2
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
Ec 3:3
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
Ec 3:4
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
Ec 3:5
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
Ec 3:6
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
Ec 3:7
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
Ec 3:8
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Ec 3:14
I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.

Meet Renee. She is my granddaughter, David's daughter. She is 17 months old. Yesterday was the first time I saw her. As you can see in the photograph, she's not liking her granny much at all. But what do you expect when you're trying to push a child on someone they don't know. You see the Ruggles, dislike my son David. So they've kept Renée not only from me, but from her dad too. It's a real sad situation. I think the only reason that they brought Renée to see me, is that they found out about my cancer. It's such a shame that it takes something like cancer, to soften one's heart.
All you young people out there, if you read this, please remember this. Some things you do can not be just erased away! I'm not saying that Renée was a mistake or anything. But I am saying she could have came into this world under much better circumstance. Now, this little girl has to grow up in an environment where there is arguments and hateful words tossed back and forth from her mother and her father. I intended, and still do intend to stay out of it. I choose no side. I choose the health and happiness of my granddaughter. So both sides, hear me, stop and think about Renée, instead of who you think is right or wrong. Let me tell you this, both sides have right and wrong. And greatest wrong of all is putting that sweet little girl in the middle of your trash. I have nothing more to say on the subject. Mark 10:14 But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.
Until next time, Willard and I wish you health and happiness, God bless and God save.

Last night after saying my prayers, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. It was about the potter and the clay. I've always knew that God created each human being. As I lay there in the stillness. The Holy Spirit explained to me that God was not finished with me as yet. I " the clay " am being formed and refined daily. The potter, if He is a good potter never finishes with a piece of work until it is perfect in the potter's eyes. I'm not finished yet. So you see I'm not perfect yet, LOL. God will keep working on me until I draw my last breath. Then he will put me in the fire. And as I walk through the gates of heaven, cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ, I shall be perfect in the eyes of God. God, who formed the clay and His son Jesus Christ, that has cleansed it.
Each struggle that we have as human beings, are test. As we go through those test, we are being changed and remolded. The tests strengthens us and refines us, or it breaks us..
But even if we be broken, the blood of our merciful and loving Lord Jesus Christ will be there to mend us. And make us whole again.

It's such a good feeling to know that Christ is here for me any time I need Him. I wish that each and every person would know the same feeling.We all can know, and all any person has to do is let this wonderful, merciful, Lord, who is full of grace, into their hearts and into their lives. As I said yesterday, Jesus Christ and all the joy your heart could ever hold, is just one repenters prayer away.

Isaiah 64:8
But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.
Until next time, Willard and I wish you health and happiness, God bless and God save.

You know, I've got an amazing husband. Willard hardly ever says I love you, but he says it in everything he does. He's doing everything he can to hold strong for my sake. But I know the news we received yesterday is just as hard on him, and sometimes I think even worst, than it is for me. He's so understanding. Yesterday, I told him I did not want to talk about it right at that time, because I did not want to cry, and talking about it would make me cry. He respected my wishes and there was a long silence, then he start talking about anything else that he could think of. One of which was about the three trees in Apex that we pass each time we go to UNC. I've been trying to figure out what kind of trees they are, they're a smaller tree but have beautiful yellow colored pods hanging on the branches. He was saying that he was going to find out the name of them so he could get me one. How sweet. This morning Willard had to go get some medication and then by the grocery store to pick up a few items. Well, the list was a short one. Here he comes in the house with bags and bags of groceries. Everything that he knew that I liked were in those bags. I have to hide the tears that came to my eyes. He tells me he loves me in so, so many ways. Oh, how I love him so, and how I thank God for him!
First Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Willard and I are heirs together in the grace of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. If you're not saved, why don't you too become a heir, a brother or sister through Christ our Lord and Savior?
Jesus is only a prayer away.

Until next time, Willard and I both wish you health and happiness, God bless and God save.

I went to UNC today and saw Dr. Varia. He gave me a pelvic exam. I still have cancer, and there's no way of getting rid of it. He says that he will contact Dr. Gehrig to see if she wants to start any kind of chemo to hold back the growth of cancer. I know she told me before that the chemo was doing no good. As far as I know what she meant was, it wasn't getting rid of the cancer. Maybe, just maybe she'll be willing to do chemo to slow down the spread of the cancer, or God willing even stop the growth. I know it's not the best news I could have given, but it's the only news there is the tell. Now, I'll take some time to let this settle in. And of course a lot of prayers. But you know, I'm not praying for a healing. I'm praying for God's will to be done. And I'm praying for God to let me except things the way they are. And for God to give me the strength and courage that I need. Because as I said in my log the other day, That kind of strength can only can come from God.
2 Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Until next time, Willard and I wish you health and happiness, God bless and God save.

This morning was Willard's turn to give the Sunday school lesson at Golden years nursing home. When he got home, I asked how things went. He was telling me about one of the ladies who is a resident at the nursing home. How she got up and played the piano for him. Willard was telling me how blessed he was that she did that. But truly, both people were blessed. The lady was a blessing to Willard in that Willard had someone to play music while they sang the hymn's. But the lady receive a blessing by Willard asking her to play the piano. It gave her a few minutes where she felt needed, where she was important.
We all need to have that feeling ever once in a while. Where we feel important to someone, where we feel needed by someone. I guess that's why many of us older women make quilts for people, crochet Afghans and baby blankets for people. We just want a tiny moment to feel that we are worth something, and that we're just not taking up space. My sister Jean is always making quilts for her grandchildren, and crocheting baby blankets for the newborns. And let me tell you there are many baby blankets that had been made by my sister Jean. Not only has she crocheted and quilted quilts for all her grandchildren, now she's starting for her great-grandchildren. You go Jean. lol.
I repeat, each one of us needs to feel important to someone every once in a while. If you know someone who is down on their luck, or someone who is lonely, Some one that may be feeling worthless. won't you please give a blessing to them, by making them feel important if only just for a minute.
Until next time, Willard and I both wish you health and happiness, God bless and God save.